This is NOT your Nanay’s (mom’s) Banana Lumpia!!

Come to think of it…it's not my Nanay’s Banana Lumpia either.
That’s right Ma! Your little boy has grown up and I’m making moves of my own.
As I always like quoting Frankie, “I did it myyyyyyyyyy wayyyyyyyy!”

These are (wait for it, wait for it…..),
Banana Cream Cheese Lumpias!!!
BANG! KA-POW! KI-AIEE! BOO-YAH!!
YES, YES! That’s what I said, Ladies and gentlemen. Boys and girls.
Banana, Cream Cheese. Lumpia.
Alright…take your time, catch your breath…inhale, exhale, inhale and exhale.

* The recipe is slightly different, but the fundamental technique remains the same. Yes, there are just some things you shouldn’t mess with.

Ok people!!
As some of you might already know, making Lumpia or almost any type of “egg roll” thingy is not that easy if you’re a newbie at rolling food. I would think that most Asian people who has a sensible mom, would have found their butts sitting in the kitchen chair the night before some big family shin-dig, rolling a bagillion Lumpias/eggrolls/springrolls/etc.
If you are one of these kids, you can skip most of this and go straight to the recipe and go make yourselves some tasty treats. Unless you want to stay and be entertained :D
For those of you, who haven’t had the opportunity to get your rolling skills on, don’t worry about it too much, because rolling Banana Lumpias is a great way to start.

Unlike most rolls, the ingredients for Banana Cream Cheese Lumpias don’t come pouring out of the sides if you don’t roll them correctly and your wrapper doesn’t end up tearing due to rolling too slow ( the wrapper gets saturated from some ingredients/mixes). The ingredients are very forgiving to amateur rollers and also creates a great combination of yumminess.

Ingredient:
1 bunch banana
1 packet of eggroll wrappers (usually found in the freezer of most Asian markets).
1 pint (16 oz.) of cream cheese (which ever your favorite one is,)
¼ cup brown sugar
1 egg (scrambled, you’re going to use this to paste your lumpia closed)

For this batch of Lumpia, I used the Menlo brand of wrappers. Not my favorite, because I prefer the thinner wrappers. Menlo is a little thicker than most eggroll wrappers which take a little longer time to cook and doesn’t become as crisp.
* Make sure the wrappers are thoroughly defrosted before you use them.
For bananas, use Dole or Chiquita. They’re larger and you get 8 lumpias out of 1 banana. (4 lumpias if you make standard Banana Lumpias.)
 
Set up:

There are 3 things that are important when making food like this:
1) Organize. That way it becomes easier as you are repeating the process.
2) Keep the wrappers from drying up. You can do this by having a damp paper towel covering the wrappers.
3) Have great & helpful company with you or some awesome music to sing along with while you roll.

Here’s how I set things up (check out the picture).
1) Bananas, a cutting board with knife.
2) A plate with wrappers separated and covered with a damp paper towel.
       A) Separate as you go. Separate about 6-8 wrappers from the bunch if you’re rolling by your self. More if you have someone helping you.
       B) Store the rest back in its plastic bag and keep that covers as well.
3) A large ramekin of brown sugar and a tea spoon.
4) The container of cream cheese and a tea spoon.
5) A large ramekin of the scrambled egg.
6) A large round dinner plate to roll on.
7) And a dish to hold the rolled lumpia.

Rolling Directions:

Pay attention now and you’ll see why setting your area up in a organized manner is mucho importante’.

1) Take peeled banana (duh )
    A) …and cut it half.
    B) Take one half and quarter in the long way.
2) Take a wrapper and place in on the large dinner plate. (Here’s where you start referring to the pictures.) The wrapper should be in the diamond position. A corner pointing at you, another to the left, another to the right and another away from you.

 
 











3) Place a slice of banana on the bottom quarter of the wrapper of corner A. As depicted in the picture.
    a. Add about 1 ½ teaspoon of cream cheese. Distribute along the length of the banana slice.
    b. Add about a ¼ to ½ a teaspoon of brown sugar.
4) Take corner A of the wrapper and place over the ingredients and tuck it in.

 
 





5)  Fold corner B over A.

 
 
6) Fold corner C over B.

7) Now firmly but gently roll the bottom towards corner D while making sure that corners B and C stays even.
8) With your finger, dab a bit of the scrambled egg on corner D and close it.
9) Place the lumpia in the dish that you are using to hold the lumpia, make sure that corner D is sitting on the bottom. This will ensure that the corner will stay firm as the egg dries.

There you go! You’re first Lumpia!
Now go repeat steps 1-9 another 29 more times. :D

When you’re done rolling all of that, clean up your mess.

Now…one of the best thing about any kind of eggroll is, is that they can be stored in the freezer till you want to eat them.
How long can you store them you may ask?
Um…a couple months…I think?
So, Yeah! If you not planning on eating all 30 lumpias at that moment, then you should definitely store what you’re not eating away in a Ziploc freezer bag and into the freezer.

Deep-frying Directions:

 











1) Heat your deep fryer or a frying pan with a enough oil to 350-375 degrees, so that the lumpia can stay submerged beneath surface until it is evenly golden brown.

2) Now place a lumpia in the oil when it is ready. Always be aware (as with ALL deep frying) that every time you put a lumpia in the oil, the oil cools a few degrees. So always wait about 5-7 alligator seconds before you put another lumpia in the oil.

3) When the lumpia is a golden brown, place it in a steel colander to drain the excess oil and cool down for a bit.

WARNING!!!!
DO NOT!!! AND I REPEAT!!! DO NOT ATTEMPT TO EAT A LUMPIA THAT HAS NOT BEEN OUT OF THE DEEP FRYER/PAN FOR ANY TIME LESS THAN 8 MINUTES!!!
YOU WILL TOTALLY BURN THE F**K OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CRY LIKE A B*TCH.
I KID YOU NOT!

Sprinkle with powdered sugar, serve and ENJOY.

These Banana Cream Cheese Lumpias are delicious and a great for breakfast, afternoon tea or as dessert.
Great with ice-cream too!

It’s a hit at parties both large and small!
Your kids will love it!
Your husband will take out the garbage without being asked!
Your boyfriend will ask you to marry him!
Your wife/girlfriend will do what ever you want her to do!

…alright, enough of that.

Green Papya & Pork

OK. I gotta let you know:

I have NO idea what the name of this dish is.

You figure, after years of eating and cooking this dish, I would.

But, no. (I should find out...)

Although, It might be based on a Pinoy(Filipino) dish, something similar that my Nanay(mom) made before....but not exactly.

For now, we'll call it Green Papaya and Pork Stew.

 

This is one of those recipes that you feed 6-8 people with, or you'll find yourself eating this for about 3 days. Which some of you all can appreciate and agree with me, that soups and stews are so much better the next day or the day after that. Can I get an "Amen!"

All of my ingredient were picked up at Ranch 99. So that makes the shopping part real easy.

Ingredients:

1 med-med.large Green Papaya - 11/2 - 2 inch portions. Yes, get rid of the skin and seeds.

2-3 lbs of fatty pork belly - 11/2 - 2 inch portions. Salt and pepper your pork and let it sit for a while.

1 bunch of Chinese long green beans - 2 -3 inch cuts.

2 tomatoes  - sliced thin. These you want disintegrating into nothingness.

1 large onion - sliced thin. These you want disintegrating into nothingness, too.

5 cloves of garlic - peeled whole.

4-5 slices of ginger

Salt

Pepper

2-3 Bay leaves.

*note~ you don't have to follow the recipe to a tee. How much of each item you want to put into the stew is really up to you. But you might want to think about what it is that you want to aim for as far as over all taste goes.

I was focused on the subtle but fragrant sweetness of the The Green Papaya and sweet and saltiness of caramelized pork fat. Doesn't that sound like the bomb-doggity? 

As Tony would say, "Oh, yeah baby. Come to poppa."

Prep & Rant:

Now, when prepping a stew such of this, you have to really factor in cooking time. Stew of ALL forms cannot be and must not be rushed.

Don't you hate it when you find a recipe that says 4-5 hrs. cooking time. And you're like, "Seriously? Why the hell for?"

I won't leave you in the dark for this one.

When stewing: What you really doing is breaking down the physical structure of the ingredients and turning some of the solid matter into liquid. What you are trying to achieve is a certain flavor, texture and liquid consistency throughout the stew.

This particular stew at the very earliest can be eaten after 2-3 hrs. of cooking.

But again, it is best appreciated the next day (or 2).

So, what I was trying to get at is this: because of the extended cooking time, you should cut everything in larger portions. Or everything will shrink and disintegrate into mush.

Which would be fine, if you were eating through a straw or tube.

Cooking steps:

Heat a huge-ass pot with a couple tablespoons of olive oil (or your favorite cooking oil).

Not too much oil, as you will get a lot when the pork fat melts.

As soon as the oil is really hot, put several pieces  of pork into the pot. Enough to cover most of the surface, but not too much. Bring heat down to medium-high and brown all side. When the pieces are done, remove into a separate bowl and repeat with the remainder of the pork till all of them are done.

Depending on how much pork you actually get, this could take about a half hour.

Now with a pot of just hot oil and pork fat, throw you tomatoes, onions and garlic. Salt and pepper.

Then put your pork over that and cover and turn heat to medium.

Walk away. Have a beer or something. Watch the LA Laker's get their butts kicked by the 8th seed OKC. Have a smoke....something to keep you away from messing with the stew.

After about 20-30 minutes, go and check on your stew.

Has the liquid in the pot built up on it's self? 

If it did. Good going.

If not, then looks like you're going to need to boil some hot water.

*The medium heat should have drawn out the liquids from the tomatoes, onions more from the pork. Some time it needs a little help. By adding in about cup of hot water, this helps to coerce the ingredients to sweat out it liquids. The liquids in the pot at this point should be covering most of the ingredients.

(...in my best Martin Yan imitation.)

Now.

Put in your ginger and bay leaves.

Stir the pot until every thing is turned over.

And then.

Cover the pork with the Chinese long green beans.

Salt and pepper.

And then.

Put the Green Papaya over the green beans.

And then.

Salt and pepper.

And then.

Turn the heat to medium low.

And then.

You cover the pot, and walk away.

Leave it alone for about another half hour.

After about 30 minutes of really slow cooking, you should have a little more liquid in the pot. And your papaya should be starting to look translucent.

Turn the heat down to simmer, and leave the cover just slightly open to release most of the steam. You don't want to build up too much liquid.

*note~ I put in the ginger and bay leaves after the higher heat cooking process, because I don't want those flavors to be so dominant.

Make a pot of rice.

By the time your rice is done. The papaya should be translucent and soft to the touch.

If it's  not. Then it's not ready. Only when the papaya is done is the stew ready to be eaten.

Have some patience and it will be worth it.

I promise.

NUDE PHOTOS OF YOUR FAVORITE STARS!!

Haha! I got you!

This really about the LOCOMOCO!

NO! NOT CRAZY BOOGERS!
Although, I remember as a boy, some of those crazy little kids out there who you would catch eating their own boogers. EW!!
Is it like Li hing mui?

Alright, enough of that.

Let me first say that this Hawai’i local favorite is NOT Hawai’ian food. But, it is the kind of food that was born from the Aloha spirit.
It is the simple things in life that give one the most pleasure…and like any thing in this world, too much pleasure can kill you.
The Locomoco will kill me.
How ironic is that?
Death from the Aloha spirit?
Haha!!

So what is it that you are looking at?
What is this simple killing concoction of culinary bliss?
Simply it is:

Hamburger patties of USDA Choice Ground Beef (Costco always has great selections and prices when it comes to beef.)
SPAM. Yes, I said SPAM. (A local favorite of the Hawai’ian Islands since World War II.)
Eggs deep-fried or poached in a small pot of boiling oil.
And, rice. Cooked the Asian way, people.

Step 1
Make a pot of rice.

Step 2
Make your hamburger-patties the way you like it.
I like to add an egg, minced onions and garlic, salt and pepper and various chili-powders to the mix, with a touch of A-1 sauce. MMM!
That sounds pretty freaking good right?
Let it sit off onto the side while you cook the first item.

Step 3
Heat up a medium to large sized pan (Not the non-sticking surface one! You’ll find out why in a bit.), with a light amount of oil. Use medium-high heat.
Slice your SPAM into quarter inch thick slices.
This IS the perfect size to slice SPAM, when you are going to fry it.
Fit as many slices of Spam in the pan and fry until you achieve that crispy pinkish-brown color on both sides. This will leave the inside nice and tender.

HOLD ON! Don’t wash that pan or get another one!

Step 4
Use that same pan to cook you hamburger-patties in.
I’m serious!
Using salty pork fat infused oil to fry hamburger-patties in is the shizzle!!
I guarantee you even Anthony Bourdain would love this.
You won’t regret it, I promise.
Fry your hamburger-patties to what ever state you desire.
I like them medium-rare.

When you’re done with that, put the pan off on to the side.
DO NOT WASH THE PAN!!
Trust me.

Just go get a small but deep frying pan (or small pot), fill it with oil and heat up until about 300-350 degrees. Once it gets boiling, turn it down to simmer. We need to keep this hot.

Step 5
Take that pan you used to fry the SAPM and hamburger-patties in and make a Shoyu(soy)-sauce/vinegar/red wine reduction.
Huh?!
That’s what I said. A Shoyu(soy)-sauce/rice-wine vinegar/red wine reduction.
About:
1 quarter to half cup of Shoyu sauce
1 quarter to half cup of rice-wine vinegar
1 quarter to half cup of red wine

Reheat pan on a medium high heat. Put in the liquids and then scrape and stir up everything thoroughly. Turn down to low heat and let it reduce.

Step6
Is the rice done yet?
Well, when it’s done, plate a serving of it and put a few slices of SPAM and a hamburger patty beside the rice.

Back to the boiling oil.

Step7
Bring the heat buck up to medium-high on that pot of oil.
Now, literally poach (using a slotted spoon and 1 egg at a time) how ever many eggs you like to eat.
Yes, deep-fried eggs.
Does your heart hurt thinking about it?
After each egg is done, lay it on the steaming bed of rice.

Is the Shoyu(soy)-sauce/rice-wine vinegar/red wine reduction done yet?
When it is, pull it.

As you can see, as simple as the item are in them selves, combined, cooked and timed out all together. It’s not as simple as it seems.
After this bout in the kitchen, you’ll end up feeling like a full blown gourmet chef. And believe me, the results are worth it.

Step8
Take a table spoon and drizzle your Shoyu(soy)-sauce/rice-wine vinegar/red wine reduction over the plated items,
Pour yourself a glass of your favorite drink,
Grab a table spoon and a fork (Pinoy style), napkin optional…
And go and enjoy your murderously-delicious LocoMoco Deluxe.

Ingredient:
USDA Choice Ground Beef
SPAM
Eggs
Rice
1 quarter to half cup of Shoyu sauce
1 quarter to half cup of rice-wine vinegar
1 quarter to half cup of red wine
Time and skills.